Forgiveness & Peace that Passes All Understanding

Dear Christian Sisters,

In my previous blog post, I told you my story—what led up to my abortion and how it resulted in more bad choices.

In retrospect, I can tell you that my abortion brought darkness over my life. I turned my back on God, I murdered my baby, and I continued to make bad decisions of staying with the baby daddy—living with him, buying a house with him, and then marrying him (the wrong order!).

It wasn’t until after the baby daddy divorced me that I found the love of Christ shown practically by Russ. I had great joy!

But I also felt convicted that having an abortion is wrong.

Thankfully, the forgiveness that comes from Christ is freeing. We should never put the heaviness of guilt back onto a woman.

As sinners, we can have the peace of Christ in all circumstances, but we have to seek the Holy Spirit to get it.

When I first told my story in front of a large group, which was at my adult baptism, I quoted a bible verse. The Lord gave it to me right as I was speaking. I didn’t know where it was in the Bible at that time, but today, I can tell you that it’s in the Bible in two places:

  • in Psalm 51, which is THE BEST chapter on confessing our sins and feeling the love of God’s forgiveness, and
  • in Isaiah 1.

In Psalm 51, King David is confessing his sin of murder to the Lord. In verses 2 and 3, he says:

“Wash me thoroughly from my iniquity and cleanse me from my sin for I know my transgressions and my sin is ever before me.”

In verse 7 is the freeing verse. The verse that is echoed in Isaiah 1:18.

“Purify me and I shall be clean. Wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow.”

If you, too, are post-abortive, read Psalm 51 as if you wrote it yourself. Mean it. Then you, too, will feel the love of God’s forgiveness. Once you feel whiter than snow, you will feel light!

I exchanged my story for His story. You can, too.

Even if you have not had an abortion, you probably have life challenges We ALL have things going on behind these faces—things that are difficult.

  • Some of us have difficult marriages.
  • Some of us have significant illnesses.
  • Some of us have difficult relationships with
    • adult children,
    • extended family or
    • coworkers.

We all have stress.

But we can all have the peace of Christ, peace that passes all understanding.

How do I know?

Because I have two siblings. Both of them have schizophrenia.

Shortly after I accepted Christ, we figured out that my brother also has schizophrenia. I remembered how I left the church when things got hard with my sister 15 years earlier.

I remember all too well how darkness fell over my life because I made really bad decisions, like:

  • premarital sex and
  • abortion and
  • living with my boyfriend and
  • marrying the wrong guy,

because I was angry at God—So I made a conscious decision to press into the church when my brother got sick and then became homeless.

Not that the church knew what to do with schizophrenia, but:

  • They knew how to pray.
  • They knew how to have healthy relationships within the family.
  • They had referral lists for Christian counseling—and I needed counseling!

My brother was homeless for 2 years. How he was admitted into the hospital, I don’t know. I’m not sure I want to know. But he did get diagnosed with schizophrenia, and then through social workers, got an apartment.

The medicine never fully worked, but at least he had a roof over his head.

Until a year ago.

Now if you’ve ever seen the movie “A Beautiful Mind,” then you have an inkling of what my brother is like. He’s a genius. The schizophrenia medication dulls his genius.

He went from spending all his time in the library reading books on computational linguistics and grading papers for a professor who taught Mandarin to someone who sits around all day doing nothing.

Not only does he know Mandarin, but Hebrew and Aramaic. He could have a PhD in linguistics, but he’s too smart and too bored to finish his freshman humanities paper to even get his bachelor’s degree.

And a year ago, he left his apartment back in Minnesota and traveled to Boston. He didn’t tell anyone.

It took a month for my dad to figure out that my brother had left and where he had gone. It took 3 more months to get confirmation from the police that he was really in Boston.

When my dad reached out to him, my brother left Boston. We think he went to Washington, DC. My mom lives with me, and she and I talk about this all he time. My brother must not realize how close we live to DC, but he would never seek us out. He literally closed the door on my face a couple years ago. He doesn’t want to see me.

And now we have no idea whether he is in DC or went back to Boston or has moved on to someplace else.

And even though I am very sad that my brother is off of his medication, that he is homeless again, and that he doesn’t want to see me, I still have hope, and I still have peace.

How?

Last year when I found out that my brother was missing, I started praising God while I was crying. In my homeschool group, we sing the Doxology, which has been a comforting return to my church upbringing.

So I’ve been singing “Praise God from Whom all blessings flow”—and as a result, I have grown closer and closer to the Lord. I feel peace even though I’m sad.

I felt peace as I worked alongside my dad and my nephew as we cleaned out my brother’s apartment (a day that felt like a funeral).

  • Peace has returned to my marriage and my home.
  • I had absolute peace about quitting my job last spring.
  • I had peace about homeschooling my teenager this year.
  • I have peace about not having a second income even though our expenses went up this year.
  • I had peace about my husband having hip surgery this summer, and I have peace about his upcoming knee surgery.

In my previous life, all these life circumstances would’ve stressed me out. But now, every day, I seek more of the Holy Spirit.

In Luke 11 after Jesus’s says “knock and it will be opened to you” (verses 9-10), he says, “If you then, being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to those who ask Him?” (verse 13).

And I’ve been asking.

You know what we get when we have more of the Holy Spirit? We get the fruit of the Spirit—love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control (Galatians 5:22-23).

So, I say to you today,

  • confess your sins—big and small—so that you can be whiter than snow (Psalm 51:7),
  • ask for more of the Holy Spirit (Luke 11:13) so that you can have peace that passes all understanding (Philippians 4:4-7), and
  • go make Christ appealing to every Gentile and every Jew you meet so that they want to accept Christ as their Lord and Savior (Matthew 28:19-20).

In Christ,

Cheryl

Faces of Abortions OR Call Me a Missionary to McDonald’s

Dear Christian Sisters,

People’s lives are messy.

The circumstances surrounding a woman’s decision to abort are messy.

We need to be the love of Christ to women in their messiness. We are responsible for the Great Commission, and we should think of these women as potential disciples.

Who I am Today

Because most of you don’t know me, let me paint a picture of who I am today. I am married to an evangelical Christian man, Russ, who helps support the airlines so their planes stay in the air and not on the ground—which I know you all appreciate.

I have 2 boys school-age boys—one with Aspergers and one with ADHD. They were in public school until recently, and now I homeschool them both.

I have a bachelors degree in technical communication, and I nearly finished my master’s degree in instructional technology. Before I decided to stay home to raise boys, I was a project manager leading teams to create web-based training for big corporations like Target, Northwest Airlines, and 3M.

A couple years ago, I went back into the workforce at our church until this year when I chose to stay home to homeschool my high schooler.

I am on the prayer team, I am in bible study class Sunday mornings, and I am in a special needs moms’ small group—although I have to admit that my kids’ special needs are so much easier than all my girlfriends’ kids.

But what I love about that group is that they understand that life is hard.

Because, you see, my home while in high school was not easy.

Well, it started easy. I am the spoiled youngest of three. My sister and brother are a bit older than me, so when I was done with 5th grade, they were both off at college, and I was the spoiled only child.

Living in a Home Tormented with Schizophrenia

But in the middle of 10th grade, my sister and her 6-month-old baby boy came home for Christmas and never left. Her husband had left her because she had a mental illness that he couldn’t handle.

Suddenly, I was the neglected middle child.

This situation led to a lot of arguing in my house. As some of you know, having three generations living in the same house is challenging because parents and grandparents don’t always agree on how to raise the child, so you have that natural tension.

Now add a mother who is not doing basic things for her child because she can’t think straight, because she is hearing voices that aren’t there.

It took two years for the doctors to diagnose my sister. She has paranoid schizophrenia.

Schizophrenia is different than multiple personalities disorder. With schizophrenia, you hear voices and have hallucinations. For my sister, she had a “friend” that she talked to in gibberish while pacing. Evidently her “friend” was funny because she would talk and talk and talk, listen, and then laugh.

The priority in my parents’ house was my nephew. And rightly so.

But I didn’t get the attention that I needed as a teenage girl.

My parents missed a musical that I was in because of my sister. They made the best out of a difficult situation, but I was hurt, and my defenses went up.

My parents didn’t ask me about my day or what I was doing at school, so I stopped telling them.

My parents didn’t ask me why I was upset about friendships, so I didn’t share anything with them.

And then I met a guy.

Spending time with him was so much more peaceful than listening to my toddler nephew whine at the dinner table, my mom correct him, and my sister get upset about my mom “interfering” with her parenting—you know, the parenting that she wasn’t doing.

I was home for dinner, but only because my parents required it. I hated being at the dinner table.

But as soon as dinner was over, I took my homework to my boyfriend’s place.

Now, are any of you surprised that I got pregnant?

It was the end of my junior year in high school. Having lived with my nephew for a couple years and all the fighting that happened around parenting him, I had NO interest in raising a child.

I was busy with extracurriculars at school:

  • I was first chair alto saxophone player in the band.
  • I was editor of the high school newspaper.
  • I was a straight-A student.

I did not want the burden of a pregnancy and most especially did not want to see the disapproving looks or hear the disapproving comments of my classmates or my teachers. So I decided to have an abortion.

My mom was so stressed out about my sister and my nephew that my decision to have an abortion seemed like a relief to her.

My dad was distraught, but he never said anything to me until after the abortion. Then he realized that he needed counseling more than I did. I was fine.

My dad was the church choir director. He still is today. He just turned 80, and I’m certain that he will be the choir director until the day he dies.

My mom was a former church organist. She’s a preacher’s kid. She volunteered for everything at church, including leading the children’s choir and teaching Sunday school. Today, she plays handbells at her church.

I had been a leader in the church youth group. I could’ve been the president of the youth group the following year, but Mom and I convinced Dad to leave the church.

This was shortly before I got pregnant. We were so stressed out at home, and our pastor made our church work even more stressful. No one was helping us deal with my sister’s schizophrenia—or at least I didn’t think they were.

Church was a burden. So we left.

In the dozen years that followed, I—

  • lived with my boyfriend,
  • bought a house with him, and
  • married him–in that order. The wrong order.

It was a one-sided marriage in that I loved him, but he didn’t love me—but I didn’t believe in divorce.

I didn’t think that he believed in divorce, either, but after 13 years together, 9 of which we were married, he decided he wanted a divorce.

About a year and a half later, I found the love of Christ. My husband, Russ, is the hero in my salvation story.

We don’t have enough time for me to tell you all those details, but in short, when we met—

  • I was politically liberal,
  • pro-choice,
  • very skeptical of evangelicals, and
  • I was sure that my politically conservative, evangelical boyfriend would be scared away by my abortion.

He wasn’t. He loved me anyway. He showed me the love of Christ.

And it was because Russ showed me the love of Christ through his acceptance and love of me that I accepted Christ as my Lord and Savior.

Faces of Abortion

Now, I want you to stop and think about how you picture the faces of women who have had abortions. Did you picture me?

The angry women that you see in the pro-choice movement are probably faces of abortion. They are faces of pain. They are faces of messy lives.

This last winter, I went on a mission trip through church to Uganda where I had a life-changing conversation with one of the pastors about abortion in Africa and in the United States.

Since returning, the Lord has made it clear that I am to change the conversation about abortion.

Knowing that I was going to go public with my abortion online, I began telling my family and friends so that they would hear about my abortion from me and not by reading it online.

In the process, I have found out that some of my friends have had abortions, too. Turns out that their lives have not been so perfect, either.

You don’t know how many of the faces you see every day belong to women who have had abortions. Have they experienced the love of Christ through you?

Or have they heard judgment as you comment on all the pro-choice mantra that comes from “liberal media” or the Women’s March?

What the Great Commission Means

We seem to forget that the Great Commission (Matt 28:19-20) was told to us disciples, that we are responsible for the Great Commission. When we hear the Great Commission, we hear “go to all nations”…

…but we forget that “nations” means ethnic groups. We forget that Jesus, a Jew Himself, made the Great Commission while in Israel, talking to Jews. He was telling them to make disciples of all the Gentiles—us.

The U.S. is the melting pot of nations, of ethnic groups. The Great Commission is meant for us—as well as all other nations.

Yes, some people are called to go on mission trips. I am. You might not be. But all of us are called to think of every trip

  • to work,
  • to the grocery store,
  • to the drive thru

as a mission trip.

[For more on the Great Commission, read my blog post, “Abortion & the Great Commission.”]

Missionary to McDonald’s

For example, my Sunday morning routine includes going through the McDonald’s drive thru. Now, before you judge our eating habits, know that this quick breakfast allows me to do my prayer walk, take the dog for a run, and get everyone out the door for church without fighting.

There are two women who are usually working in the drive thru–Susan and Gloria. Susan is from India. Gloria is Hispanic. My goal every Sunday morning is to make them smile because I’m sure that they get many grumpy customers. Besides, they got up at 5 am to make breakfast so that I don’t have to.

One day, I hope to have a relationship that allows me to share the gospel. That’s my prayer.

Call me a missionary to McDonald’s!

Share the Love of Christ

So I urge you to share the love of Christ wherever you go. You have no idea what is going on behind those faces.

Your job is to make Christ appealing to them so that others want to accept Christ as their Lord and Savior—even if those others are pro-choice.

With the love of Christ,

Cheryl

Part 6: Abortion & Revival

Dear Christian Sisters,

When pastors and prayer leaders talk about revival, they usually quote 2 Chronicles 7:14:

“and My people who are called by My name humble themselves and pray and seek My face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, will forgive their sin and will heal their land.”
2 Chronicles 7:14 NASB

Have you ever noticed that this verse is an if/then statement?

If God’s people:

  • humble themselves
  • seek His face (not just His hand)
  • turn from their wicked ways

Then God will:

  • hear from heaven
  • forgive their sin
  • heal their land

If we want revival, then we need to pray about abortion in humbleness while seeking His face and turning from our wicked ways.

You may be saying, “Turning from our wicked ways? But I haven’t had an abortion!”

Perhaps not. But I ask you this: Have you done the very thing that causes most of the unwanted pregnancies?

That is, have you had premarital sex?

Premarital Sex & the Church

I do not know what the statistics are, but given how pervasive premarital sex is in our culture, I would guess that the number is large. How is it that we cast judgment on women for being pregnant out of wedlock when we ourselves have had premarital sex?

We cannot go before the throne of God and plead with Him to save unwanted babies if we have not repented for our premarital or extramarital sex ourselves.

Some of you may wonder if it was okay to have sex with a man and then marry him. No! It was not okay for me to have premarital sex with either of my husbands. Hebrews 13:4 says:

Marriage is to be held in honor among all, and the marriage bed is to be undefiled; for fornicators and adulterers God will judge.

“Fornicators” is translated from “pornos,” the root of our word “pornography.” “Pornos” includes male/gay prostitution and sex between two people not married to each other.

“Adulterers” is translated from “moichos” and means exactly what you think it means: unfaithfulness to your spouse.

If you are one of the few who have not had premarital or extramarital sex, then pray in mourning for our country and the world anyway because we have a culture of sex. Most of us are complicit in the culture of sex by watching movies and TV shows, buying magazines, and looking at things on the Internet/social media.

Safe Sex

If you think it was okay for you to have premarital sex because you had safe sex, that is, because you used birth control, let me tell you: I used to say that. The truth is, women get pregnant on birth control.

Do you know who Abby Johnson is of the ministry called And Then There Were None? She is a former director of a Planned Parenthood clinic who turned pro-life. She says that most of the women who came into her clinic got pregnant on birth control.

Some people think that if you take the pill 100% correctly, then you won’t get pregnant. Others say that you can still pregnant.

The issue is not whether you had “safe sex.”
The issue is whether we were obedient to Christ.

The Bible does not say, “It’s okay to have sex out of wedlock if you use birth control.”

The Bible does say “the two shall become one” and “the one who joins himself to a prostitute is one body with her” (go read it at 1 Corinthians 6:16).

Jesus said, “If you love Me, you will keep My commandments” (John 14:15).

The point is not whether we should use birth control. The point is that God calls us to purity.

There is nothing in the New Testament that releases you from the Old Testament laws about sex.

Pray As If We’re All in This Together

Nehemiah and Daniel both prayed in confession of the people’s sin—not in self-righteousness but in an attitude of “we’re all in this together.”

Let Your ear now be attentive and Your eyes open to hear the prayer of Your servant which I am praying before You now, day and night, on behalf of the sons of Israel Your servants, confessing the sins of the sons of Israel which we have sinned against You; I and my father’s house have sinned.
Nehemiah 1:6 NASB

Righteousness belongs to You, O Lord, but to us open shame, as it is this day—to… those who are nearby and those who are far away in all the countries to which You have driven them, because of their unfaithful deeds which they have committed against You.
Daniel 9:7 NASB

Daniel 9:(3)4-19 makes a great prayer for our nation! Consider praying this as if you wrote it:

Alas, O Lord, the great and awesome God, who keeps His covenant and lovingkindness for those who love Him and keep His commandments, we have sinned, committed iniquity, acted wickedly and rebelled, even turning aside from Your commandments and ordinances. Moreover, we have not listened to Your servants the prophets, who spoke in Your name to our kings, our princes, our fathers and all the people of the land.

Righteousness belongs to You, O Lord, but to us open shame… Open shame belongs to us, O Lord, to our kings, our princes and our fathers, because we have sinned against You. To the Lord our God belong compassion and forgiveness, for we have rebelled against Him; nor have we obeyed the voice of the LORD our God, to walk in His teachings which He set before us through His servants the prophets.

Indeed all Israel has transgressed Your law and turned aside, not obeying Your voice; so the curse has been poured out on us, along with the oath which is written in the law of Moses the servant of God, for we have sinned against Him. Thus He has confirmed His words which He had spoken against us and against our rulers who ruled us, to bring on us great calamity; for under the whole heaven there has not been done anything like what was done to Jerusalem.

As it is written in the law of Moses, all this calamity has come on us; yet we have not sought the favor of the LORD our God by turning from our iniquity and giving attention to Your truth. Therefore the LORD has kept the calamity in store and brought it on us; for the LORD our God is righteous with respect to all His deeds which He has done, but we have not obeyed His voice.

And now, O Lord our God, who… have made a name for Yourself, as it is this day-we have sinned, we have been wicked.

O Lord, in accordance with all Your righteous acts, let now Your anger and Your wrath turn away from (our land). So now, our God, listen to the prayer of Your servant and to his supplications, and for Your sake, O Lord, let Your face shine on Your desolate sanctuary. O my God, incline Your ear and hear! Open Your eyes and see our desolations…

For we are not presenting our supplications before You on account of any merits of our own, but on account of Your great compassion. O Lord, hear! O Lord, forgive! O Lord, listen and take action! For Your own sake, O my God, do not delay, because… Your people are called by Your name.

In Christ,

Cheryl

Abortion & _______ Series:

Abortion & the Great Commission | Abortion & the Church | Abortion & Our Words | Abortion & Politics | Abortion & the BibleAbortion & Revival

 

Facebook Live Sept 30, 2017

I was on Facebook Live today with an ASL interpreter telling my story.

  1. Our lives are messy. The circumstances surrounding a woman’s decision to abort are messy.
  2. The forgiveness that comes from Christ is freeing. We should never put the heaviness of guilt back onto a woman.

Thank you, Pam, for interpreting!

Part 5: Abortion & the Bible

Dear Pro-Choice Christian Sisters,

You may have heard it said that the Bible says nothing about abortion, but I say that the Bible says a lot about valuing the pre-born.

And before you get mad at me, let me tell you that I have had an abortion. (I wrote some of my story in “Part 2: Abortion & the Church,” in “Part 3: Abortion & Our Words,” on Facebook Live, and in “Faces of Abortion.”)

Please do not think that I am writing to you from a “holier-than-thou” pedestal. The last thing I want to do is tell the world that I had an abortion.

But I am telling you anyway because I do not want the emotional pain of abortion for you—or for anyone.

What I did was wrong. But I know that the Lord has forgiven me. If you need forgiveness and can’t wait for my blog on that, then go to Psalm 51 and read it as if you wrote it, as if you are saying it to God yourself.

Not only has God forgiven me, but He has also called me to cry loudly, to not to hold back, and to raise my voice like a trumpet (Isaiah 58:1a).

You see, I used to be you. I was raised in the church and yet I had an abortion anyway. I volunteered for Planned Parenthood Action Fund. I counter-protested the Christians who picketed outside an abortion clinic. I voted solely on whether a candidate was pro-choice.

If I had understood the scriptures, I’m sure that I would not have had an abortion. Knowing what I know now about how darkness fell over my life, I do not want that pain for anyone—not you, not your friends, not even my enemies. You are my sisters in Christ!

Ever since the Lord first showed His love for me in very practical ways, I have studied the Bible. He has taught me how to understand the Bible. He has taught me how to pray.

So today I pray that you will hear me out—or as Jesus would say, “She who has ears, let her hear” (Matt 11:15, 13:9, 13:43; Mark 4:9; Luke 8:8, 14:35).

Lord, bless the readers of this blog post in ways that they feel, without doubt, that those blessings came from You. Open their minds to understanding the scriptures (Luke 24:45). Let us remember that You are love (1 John 4:8). You love the world, the whole world (John 3:16). You do not love only the men but also the women. Lord, if any readers do not believe Your love for them, let them read “Part 2: Abortion & the Church,” to see how Your Son, Jesus, lovingly treated the woman at the well and the woman caught in adultery. I ask these things in the name of Jesus. Amen!

Choosing Light Not Darkness

When I had an abortion at age 17, darkness fell over my life. Before “The Walking Dead” became a TV show, I referred to myself as the walking dead because I looked alive. I pretended to be happy. But I had no joy.

I realize this now that I have been called out of darkness and into His marvelous light (1 Peter 2:9) and have received mercy (1 Peter 2:10). I have turned from darkness to light and have received forgiveness (Acts 26:18). Now I have the joy of the Lord (Nehemiah 8:10) and peace that passes all understanding (Philippians 4:7).

You see, when we choose to follow Jesus, we walk in the light (John 8:12). I like it much better here! I invite you to join me so that you, too, can feel the joy of the Lord.

The Word Abortion Is Not in the Bible

You may be thinking, “Well, that’s fine for you, but I know that the Bible doesn’t say anything about abortion.” Since the Bible does not have the word abortion in it, I can see your point. But I ask you to spend some time with me today exploring why pro-life Christians still believe that abortion is wrong in the eyes of the Lord.

For Christianity “is not a blind leap in the dark; faith is a reasoned response to God’s Self revelation” (Dr. Bill Creasy).

You are right that the word abortion is not in the Bible. You can find a lot about sex, money, and repentance in the Bible but not any stories of abortion. Why is that?

Old Testament Jews Valued Children

Let’s remember that the Old Testament was written for Jews, which was a culture that valued children. Because the Jews valued children, there was no reason to instruct them to not end their pregnancies. How do we know they valued children?

  1. We know that they valued children because the Old Testament includes many genealogies—lists of people in their family history, their ancestors (genealogies of Cain, Adam, Noah, Shem, Ishmael, Isaac, Jacob/Israel, Esau, Joseph, Jacob’s grandchildren, census by tribe of genealogical record, David’s ancestors, Samuel’s ancestors—We’re only at the 9th book out of 66; we haven’t even gotten to Jesus’ genealogy through Joseph or through Mary).
  2. We know that they valued children because of how women reacted to not being able to have children (Sarah, Abimelech’s wife and female slaves, Rebekah, Rachel, Samson’s mother, Hannah, Michal, the Shunammite Woman, and New Testament Jew Elizabeth).
  3. We know that they valued children because of King David and Bathsheba’s story. Do you know this story? You may remember that Solomon, who becomes king after David, is Bathsheba’s son, but do you remember that Solomon had an older brother who was born as a result of adultery?

That’s right, David, the man after God’s own heart (Acts 13:22; 1 Sam 13:14; Ps 89:20; Acts 7:46), broke one of the Ten Commandments (Exodus 20:14; Deuteronomy 5:18). Actually, he broke at least two (Exodus 20:13; Deuteronomy 5:17). Read on.

David and Bathsheba’s Story

There are many cool things about David’s story. Everyone knows the gist of the David and Goliath story. Many know that he was anointed king over Israel by Samuel, but many miss that it was another 13 or so years before he actually became king.

Everything about David’s story is interesting. There’s plenty of drama in David’s life to keep you riveted for years. But here we’re going to focus on how David and Bathsheba got together.

At this point in his story, David is king over all of Israel. David stayed home when he should’ve been at the battlefield. He sent all his men to battle while he stayed home (2 Sam 11:1), including Bathsheba’s husband Uriah (2 Sam 11:3, 1 Chron 11:26, 41).

While hanging out on his own rooftop, David saw Uriah’s wife Bathsheba bathing (evidently Uriah’s home was nearby), he summoned her, and he had sex with her. She got pregnant (2 Sam 11:2-5).

What we don’t know is whether David and Bathsheba “had eyes for each other” before this story or whether she had sex with him because he was the king and reasoned that she couldn’t say “no.” My personal opinion, based on how Bathsheba interacts with David throughout their lifetimes, is that they had eyes for each other. But that’s my opinion, not fact.

Today in the United States, you might expect a rich man to offer his mistress money for an abortion or even pressure her into having an abortion. But that’s not what David does.

Why not? Because that’s not what God’s chosen people did.

Instead, David tries to trick Uriah into having sex with his own wife so that he would think that the very large baby born prematurely was his (2 Sam 11:6-8). Uriah doesn’t fall for the trick (2 Sam 11:9-13), so David has him killed in battle (2 Sam 11:14-21).

After Bathsheba mourned the death of Uriah, David married her and she had a son. “But the thing that David had done was evil in the sight of the Lord” (2 Sam 11:27).

The Lord sent Nathan to David to rebuke him for what he had done (2 Sam 12:1). Basically, through Nathan, God says, I gave you everything. “Why have you despised the word of the Lord by doing evil in His sight?” (2 Sam 12:8-9)

Despised the word of the Lord.

The Lord explains the consequences of David’s sin (2 Sam 12:11-12, 14), David feels convicted of his own sin (2 Sam 12:13, Ps 51:3-4), and his son gets sick and dies (2 Sam 12:15-19).

In summary, David decided that it was better to kill one of his own mighty men of the armies (1 Chron 11:26, 41) than to kill the pre-born baby boy.

Why? Because the Jews valued children.

And because the Jews valued children, there was no reason to instruct them to not end their pregnancies.

What God Said About the Jew Who Did Not Value Children

Were there Jews who killed their children?

Yes, King Ahaz burned his sons in fire as sacrifices to a foreign god “according to the abominations of the nations whom the Lord had driven out before the sons of Israel” (2 Kings 16:3; 2 Chron 28:3). The nations whom the Lord had driven out were the ethnic groups that lived in the Promised Land while the Jews spent 40 years wandering in the wilderness.

How did God feel about what Ahaz did? The Bible says that Ahaz “did not do right in the sight of the Lord” (2 Kings 16:2; 2 Chron 28:1).

Over 100 years later, the Lord sends Jeremiah to the same location as Ahaz’s blood sacrifices, the “blood of the innocent” (Jeremiah 19:4), and referred to the blood sacrifices as “a thing which I never commanded or spoke of, nor did it ever enter My mind” (Jeremiah 19:5).

If blood sacrifices of children never entered God’s mind, why would abortion?

Ahaz was worshipping gods of wood and stone (Ezekiel 20:31-32).

What are our gods of wood and stone?
Paper money and diamonds, perhaps?
How many times do we women abort babies because of how costly it will be to go through with the pregnancy?

“For when you offer your gifts and make your sons pass through the fire, you defile yourselves with all your idols, even to this day. So shall I be inquired of by you, O house of Israel? As I live,” says the Lord God, “I will not be inquired of by you. What you have in your mind shall never be, when you say, ‘We will be like the Gentiles, like the families in other countries, serving wood and stone.’”
Ezekiel 20:31-32 NKJV

How is it that we expect God to be inquired of by us—that is, why do we expect God to listen to us—when we are bowing to wood and stone gods rather than Him?

“No one can serve two masters; for either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to one and despise the other. You cannot serve God and wealth.”
Matthew 6:24 NASB

Bible Shows That Pre-Born Are Children

Now you might be thinking of the argument that the pre-born are not babies or are not human until they are born.

First
Let me ask you this: If I would not have had an abortion, what would have happened? I would have given birth to a baby, a human. Not a dog, not a monkey, but a human baby who would have grown up and today would be 29 years old.

Second
Surely someone before me has quoted to you all sorts of verses that show that God knew people before they were born. Here is the list for you to read on your own:

Third
The Law in the Bible (Exodus 21:22-25) says that if two men struggle and strike a pregnant woman in the process, causing harm to the pre-born, then the penalty is a life for a life, that is, his life for the baby’s life.

Fourth
But here’s the best proof that I have heard to date. I learned this from Pastor Lon Solomon of McLean Bible Church. The New Testament was written in Greek, and Pastor Lon points out that the same Greek word brephos is used to refer to:

  • John the Baptist when he was still in Elizabeth’s womb (Luke 1:41, 44)
    AND
  • babies when the disciples were bringing their children to Jesus so that He could touch them (Luke 18:15-17).

Not sure if you believe me? Read for yourself on the Blue Letter Bible website. Be sure to scroll down for all the uses of brephos.

By Him all things were created both in the heavens and on earth, visible and invisible (Colossians 3:16a).

The body is not for immorality but for the Lord and the Lord is for the body (1 Corintians 6:13b).

Choose God’s Light & Teach Other Christians To Do the Same

Dear Christian Sister, do not despise the word of the Lord. Do not do evil in His sight. Believe that the Bible demonstrates that God values the lives of children and pre-born babies. As a follower of Christ, He wants you to value the lives of children and pre-born babies, too.

Choose life for yourself.
Teach your daughters and sons to choose life.
Teach all those at your church to choose life.
Choose the Light.

Let no one deceive you with empty words, for because of these things the wrath of God comes upon the sons of disobedience. Therefore do not be partakers with them. For you were once darkness, but now you are light in the Lord.

Walk as children of light (for the fruit of the Spirit is in all goodness, righteousness, and truth), finding out what is acceptable to the Lord.

And have no fellowship with the unfruitful works of darkness, but rather expose them. For it is shameful even to speak of those things which are done by them in secret.

But all things that are exposed are made manifest by the light, for whatever makes manifest is light. Therefore He says:

“Awake, you who sleep,
Arise from the dead,
And Christ will give you light.”
Ephesians 5:6-14 NKJV

We Christians have got to get this right. The Lord cannot use us in the world when we are living like the world (see Romans 12:2; James 4:4).

We Christians have got to stay out of abortion clinics—for where our treasures are, there our hearts are also (Matt 6:21).

If you are conflicted, if you are unsure, if you are considering an abortion, please contact me privately. There’s no judgment here. Let me pray for you. Let me help you find help near you.

With the love of Christ,

Cheryl

Abortion & _______ Series:

Abortion & the Great Commission | Abortion & the Church | Abortion & Our Words | Abortion & Politics | Abortion & the Bible | Abortion & Revival

Part 4: Abortion & Politics

Dear Christian Sisters,

I’m tired of politics.Republicans for Choice & Democrats for Life--Seriously? Abortion & Politics at CherylKrichbaum.com
I’m tired of politicians.
I’m tired of politicians talking about abortion.

If we were to follow news reports, we’d think that all Republicans are pro-life and all Democrats are pro-choice. But there are groups called Republicans for Choice and Democrats for Life.

We think that having a Republican President is a win for the pro-life movement, but consider this: The CDC’s statistics show that the USA had—

  • more abortions per year 2004-2008
    (avg of 715,000/year; Republican President)
    than 2009-2013
    (avg of 632,000/year; Democratic President), and
  • the abortion rate went up 2004-2008
    (from 714,000 to 718,000/year; Republican President)
    but consistently went down 2009-2013
    (686,000 to 570,000/year; Democratic President).

Let that sink in.

Many Christians want to reverse Roe v Wade, thinking that abortion would end.

It won’t.

In Uganda, for example, abortion is against the law yet women still have abortions, particularly poor women.

Perhaps our attention should not be on politics but on women who are in difficult situations.

Instead of focusing on politics, let’s turn our focus to “teaching them the way they should go” (Deut 6:7) and “teaching them all that I commanded you” (Matt 28:20).

Vote and then let’s go with our churches to volunteer among the poor in our cities and counties because those are the young women who are most likely to abort.

Instead of posting polarizing political articles on social media, let’s get involved in teen or young adult ministries at our churches—or at FCA (Fellowship of Christian Athletes).

Instead of getting upset at Planned parenthood, let’s volunteer at or donate to Christian pregnancy centers near us and encourage our churches to partner with them.

Instead of getting mad about women aborting 67% of Down Syndrome children (see CBS News report), let’s start special needs ministries at our own churches.

Instead of complaining about the pro-choice movement to our Christian friends, let’s start making our churches welcoming to hurting women, perhaps by starting chapters of A Mother’s Cry.

What other ideas do you have for making a difference in the abortion rate?

With the love of Christ,

Cheryl

Abortion & _______ Series:

Abortion & the Great Commission | Abortion & the Church | Abortion & Our Words | Abortion & Politics | Abortion & the BibleAbortion & Revival

Part 3: Abortion & Our Words 

Dear Christian Sisters,

I wonder how often our words unintentionally tell young women to abort.

While on a short-term mission trip to Uganda over New Year’s, I met a man who is studying to be a pastor. He sat at the dinner table with our team as we discussed abortion in Uganda and in the U.S.

One of our pastors pointed out that when we tell our daughters not to come home pregnant, we are essentially telling them to go have abortions.

The Ugandan man realized that he had said that very thing to his daughters, so he went home to change the conversation.

A parent’s words are powerful.

That got me thinking. We need to have these same discussions in the U.S. as well as in Uganda about abortion and what we’re saying to women. The mission field is not just outside of the U.S. (See part 1 of this blog series, “Abortion & the Great Commission.”)

Changing the Way We Talk

As followers of Christ, we need to change the way that we talk and to encourage others to do the same because we are unintentionally telling women to have abortions.

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When we pro-lifers talk about abortion, we typically talk about the babies who are dying. U.S. politics are so polarized on the abortion issue that pro-choicers hear everything we have to say as yelling.

When has yelling convinced anyone to accept Christ’s gift of eternal salvation?

From their perspective, all we seem to care about are saving babies, but what about the women?
Are we caring for them through the pregnancy?
Are we supporting them as single moms?
Are we walking alongside them through open adoption?

After all, who is making the decision to abort?

The women, of course!

So, let’s consider how we might be telling women to have abortions.

How We Unintentionally Tell Teens to Have Abortions

My best friend in high school got pregnant about the same time that I did. I was at the top of my high school class. My best friend who is smarter than me and graduated ahead of me chose life. I didn’t.

For her, standing up for her daughter was her ticket out of her parents’ house. She wasn’t going to let her daughter grow up in an abusive home. So, she moved out and into an apartment and finished high school by doing all her classes as dual enrollment at the local university. She advocated for herself and for her daughter.

Her high school counselor told her she had to go to the district’s alternative school—top of the class and they wanted to send her away. Let me ask you—How is that different than saying “If you want to stay here, you have to have an abortion”?

Want another example of sending the wrong message? Here’s one that’s more recent: “A Christian school banned a pregnant teen from graduation because she was immoral”:

“We teach our students about the beauty of marriage and that sex inside of marriage is one of the things that is beautiful about marriage,” he said.

But while the school reaffirmed its decision, antiabortion groups have rallied to support Runkles. They argue that by singling out a pregnant student, the school is making it more likely that young women will choose abortion rather than suffer embarrassment and punishment.

Yes, exactly that.

And then there’s the inequality:

“It’s because I’m pregnant and you can see the results of my mistake,” Runkles said in a telephone interview Wednesday.

“There have been kids who have broken the student code and they could have hurt people or even gone to jail and they only received an in-school suspension and they’re allowed to walk this year.

As for me and my story, I was hard hearted. It was my decision. No one pressured me to have an abortion, but no one told me not to, either.

Accidental Words

So, let me ask you. What have you said to your children about abortion? You may not have children of your own, but you may have children by volunteering in the children’s ministry or with youth or young adults at your church—because your church is a family, right?

Maybe we are so rigid about “no sex before marriage” that our kids are afraid to tell us that they are pregnant.

Maybe we say, “Don’t ruin your life” by having children when you’re young as if being a mom or putting a child up for adoption is the end of your education and career—because it’s not! God’s strength in us is bigger!

How do we need to change the conversation in our homes and in our churches?

In order to change the conversation, we need to talk about our messy lives, shed light on them—get them out of the darkness and into the light. Take away the power of Satan.

Telling Our Stories to Our Children

Last spring on Good Friday, my husband and I sat down with our boys, ages 13 and 9, and told them our stories of choosing Jesus, including what our lives were like before and how we have changed. **And let me be clear: Abortion is my story, not my husband’s. My husband is the Christian hero in my story!**

Until that night, our boys only knew us as we are now and what we value today. Before we told them, they did not know that we were not always moral people.

It was hard. It was embarrassing. But they were very understanding and forgiving.

I told them that I felt like I had been keeping secrets from them and that I didn’t like that feeling. They both hugged me!

Now that it’s all out in the open, there’s no shame. We took our sins out of the darkness and brought them into the light where Satan no longer has power.

And guess what? Now our boys ask us more questions. We have frank conversations through our bible studies (because the Bible has a lot to say about sex!). Through our discussions of tough questions, we guide them into being the men whom God wants them to be.

With the love of Christ,

Cheryl

Abortion & _______ Series:

Abortion & the Great Commission | Abortion & the Church | Abortion & Our Words | Abortion & Politics | Abortion & the BibleAbortion & Revival